Final(s)

This word of the day was too easy. I’m sitting in yet another coffee shop—this time the classic Starbucks since it opens at 6:30 AM—doing work of some variation. I’m wearing a sweatshirt with no bra; you can see my nipples. I’m wearing my mom’s leggings; you can see panty lines. Finals are going well.

I’ve already taken my physics exam and received 0.3 above the minimum for the letter grade that I want. I’m studying biochemistry at the moment, writing in a Rhodia notebook with a sepia tone pen. I’m boujee, remember?

I always go back to this time last year. This time last year during finals week, I got mono and passed out on the floor in my dorm room. I had to be taken to the hospital by EMS. I was afraid of what could be wrong. And behold, I had mono. I attribute the kissing disease to “wet week” a month and a half prior.

I did absolutely horrible on my finals last year. Many of those grades bumped me even lower than I already had (cough, cough—genetics). Being hospitalized earlier in the month and now being sick, I had to take incompletes on my final papers. I had a ton of fun doing those over the summer. Woo hoo.

Now, I’m sitting cross-legged on a wooden chair at a table with my study materials sprawled out ready to get another dirty chai. I finally feel capable for finals week. Like my pen-stained pencil case says, “just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly…”

via Daily Prompt: Final

130: 10 Steps on How to Stay Calm

  1. Take the biggest damn breath in
  2. And out
  3. Make some chai with milk and 3/4 packet of sugar
  4. Put on some noise (i.e., your favorite Spotify playlist, a fan or three)
  5. Take another huge breath in
  6. And out
  7. Distract yourself with something you like to do (i.e., read some angsty poetry, get off)
  8. Tell yourself, “I’m doing the best I can”
  9. Take one more damn breath in
  10. And out

via See Jane Write: 365 Blog Post Ideas and Writing Prompts

I’m in a Maze

I’ve found myself stuck in a maze for the past two weeks. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go. At the moment, I’m sipping a matcha latte and staring at a shelf full of Jose Cuervo. I’ve found a new place that I can inhabit. It’s a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop a block away from my apartment. It has orange and white striped walls and tiny wooden tables accompanied by chairs clad in floral padded seats. It’s quite nice.

However, I still don’t know where I get out of this maze. I’ve made many varied attempts. I hung out with the same Jose Cuervo this past Saturday night and made friends with a flattened hamburger on my floor. I immersed myself in Sense8 and pasta with solely Parmesan cheese instead of watching a rightfully underrated musical group perform. Despite these varied measures, I still don’t feel like I’ve found the exit of this feeling: one of sadness and confusion about such sadness.

Someone once told me to think of the unknown causes of emotions this way: imagine a man standing on a bridge with water below. His pants are on fire. He doesn’t know why his pants are on fire. He tries to think back to whether he was smoking or if there was a fire nearby. But he shouldn’t do that. He should just jump into the damn water and put out the fire on his pants.

I know this will pass. “This too shall pass,” my grandma always tells me. I hate that saying; she says it too damn much. I also hate “everything happens for a reason.” Sure things need to have some root cause, but you can’t always know the reason. Sometimes you just need to do keep on trying doing something good for you now and think about the cause later. Sometimes you just need to jump in the water.

via Daily Prompt: Maze

Stylish/Boujee Life

Boujee. You hear that term first coined in the Top 40 song, “Bad and Boujee” by Migos. We all know what bad means, but what does the latter mean?
Boujee is an abbreviation for bourgeoisie, a “elite demographic defined for a need for luxury and material items” (Refinery 29). Basically, boujee– or bougie– means being materialistic af. And guess who is bougie? Yours truly.
I have an Erin Condren planner and buy custom-made stickers on Etsy. I buy acai from Wegmans to make acai bowls.  I use wireless Beats earbuds as I listen to podcasts and Spotify premium. I purchased purple Tevas from Urban Outfitters so that my shoes could match my purple Kanken backpack.
Now tell me I’m not bougie.
But is there anything wrong with being bougie? I wouldn’t say so. There is so much more to me than using speech to text on my gold Apple Watch.
Bougie is simply one lifestyle, not an entire life.

via Daily Prompt: Lifestyle