131: I Should Have

Sequel to “I Could Have

When I first told my family I was capable of such evil, they didn’t believe me. I was a good girl. I was the favorite child. I was not a bad person.

“You didn’t do anything bad. You didn’t know about him.”

I should have known. I should have remembered my place.

My mom attempted to console me on the phone as I laid in my twin XL bed hidden under the covers. I hadn’t gotten out of bed yet for the day. I didn’t feel like it. The tears from my eyes made contact with the glass of my iPhone and made a greater area of my cheek wet. I hadn’t stopped crying today. I didn’t feel like it.

My roommate came back from the dining hall and just looked at me under the large duvet. She went back to her work and I knew that was the cue to hang up the phone. I pressed the red circle on its white icon and went back to bed.

I saw her. I saw the girlfriend on the plaza the next day. She looked through me. I looked down. The tears came back.

I should have known. I should have remembered my place.

via See Jane Write: 365 Blog Post Ideas and Writing Prompts

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2 thoughts on “131: I Should Have

  1. Somewhere along the way, in the teachings I recall a saying “Do not follow the visions with buckets of blood”. We are all capable of evil, however that is perceived, yet that little saying helps keep me in check: along with many others. Love your work!

    Like

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