131: I Should Have

Sequel to “I Could Have”

When I first told my family I was capable of such evil, they didn’t believe me. I was a good girl. I was the favorite child. I was not a bad person.

“You didn’t do anything bad. You didn’t know about him.”

I should have known. I should have remembered my place.

My mom attempted to console me on the phone as I laid in my twin XL bed hidden under the covers. I hadn’t gotten out of bed yet for the day. I didn’t feel like it. The tears from my eyes made contact with the glass of my iPhone and made a greater area of my cheek wet. I hadn’t stopped crying today. I didn’t feel like it.

My roommate came back from the dining hall and just looked at me under the large duvet. She went back to her work and I knew that was the cue to hang up the phone. I pressed the red circle on its white icon and went back to bed.

I saw her. I saw the girlfriend on the plaza the next day. She looked through me. I looked down. The tears came back.

I should have known. I should have remembered my place.

via See Jane Write: 365 Blog Post Ideas and Writing Prompts